Intergenerational Mediation (IM)
What is Mediation?
The word mediation can sound very “legal;” most of our associations with the word mediation are connected to labour relations or separation and divorce processes. In the case of Intergenerational planning, the phrases “facilitated discussion” or “facilitated conversation” better describes what IM is. It can be about airing difficult issues in a coordinated way with professional guidance. It can also be about navigating moderate to high levels of conflict between family members while trying to work out what to do next.
The core principles of classic mediation apply: it is a voluntary process facilitated by a neutral third party or mediator. Any person in the room is free to leave the discussion. It’s “closed” meaning legally anything said in a mediation can’t be used in a future court process. This is critically important so people feel free to openly share their concerns and ideas.
The mediator’s role is to remain neutral, that is, not have a personal or vested interest in any particular outcome, plan or goal. The mediator’s purpose is to be a facilitator or guide—to help you speak, listen and connect to each other in order for you to reach the goals you decide as a group you want to achieve. The Intergenerational mediator has expertise and knowledge about aging,the issues that confront families with an aging member, family relations and what you will need to organize to achieve your goals and make your plans. This can include, if necessary, guidance to other professionals, community and other resources (financial, legal, medical).
Issues related to family planning with older adults can include:
Financial issues—Estate and retirement planning, family businesses, gifts, medical costs, caregiving costs, insurance questions
Safety — at home and/or in the community, including driving concerns
Caregiving— responsibilities and schedules
Family relationship concerns—includes new marriages, blended families, holiday schedules, religious issues, conflicts
Powers of Attorney—financial and medical
Guardianship
Abuse and Neglect
End of life planning
HOW TO GET STARTED
1. Book a Free ½ Hour Confidential Consultation
- Speak to the mediator (use the “Book a Consultation” Tab at the top or bottom of this page)—this is a simple reach out and conversation
- Learn our approach
- Ask questions about the process, express what you want to accomplish
- Discuss how you reach out to other family members or important caregivers to participate in the process
- Find out what kind of information might be helpful for you to have before starting
2. Discuss with your Family Members and Essential Interested Parties
- This is an important step. Who are you imagining participating? How do you reach out?
3. Individual Meetings
- One hour: Once all the interested parties have agreed to participate, we schedule individual meetings, usually an hour. Some important individuals may choose not to attend. We can discuss strategies regarding this situation.
- Agreement to Mediate: At the beginning of this meeting you sign an “Agreement to Mediate”—this is essentially a contract that protects the confidentiality of all private information shared in the individual interviews and the family meetings. It also outlines what mediation is, the mediator’s role, that it is closed (private and confidential) and that participation is voluntary. This agreement protects you and sets clear and consistent expectations for the whole group. It does not “require” you to keep participating or move to the next step of participating in the family meetings.
4. Family Meetings
- Pace and time is unique to your family’s needs: if you have urgent timely issues to coordinate and resolve you can schedule your family meetings as soon as our schedule allows and as close together as you feel you need and people can meet. This can be in person, virtual, or a combination of both. Sessions are usually 2 to 3 hours.
- There can also be “homework”—other professionals to contact, information to gather, assessments to be done
5. Summary Report(s)
- During the process—your family may want an emailed summary of plans of actions, homework, assessment/caregiving schedules sent either after every session or upon request
- Meeting your goals—when your family has decided you have met your goals, or you can move forward, discuss and plan without a mediator, you can request a final summary that outlines your pertinent schedules, information, agreements, schedules, future schedules, goals and collaboration strategies.
FEES: There is an hourly rate on an as needed basis, there is no retainer. Please refer to the fees page for details, terms and conditions.
IM Conflict Support
Intergenerational Planning and Conflict Support for Individuals
Before, during, or after reaching out for a consultation, you may find one of the following:
- Your family members cannot or choose not to engage in Intergenerational mediation
- There are safety concerns with moving forward with mediation
- You would prefer to have individual consultation sessions for guidance specific to organizing how to move through the next steps involving potentially difficult conversations with family members regarding health, financial issues or living arrangements
For a number of reasons your family members cannot or may not want to come together to discuss goals, next steps, or issues you feel are necessary concerning you or your older/younger family members. Or you are alone with this process. We can help you navigate those steps and discuss how to engage or interact with your family member(s) and/or professionals on these issues.